When children are involved, people tend to think the children absolutely must come first. To be honest, I was one of those people. I always thought my daughter had to be first, and I could not care for myself. This should not be the case. Yes your world may revolve around your children, but you also have to focus on yourself so that you grow as an individual. So why not apply that to your relationship? Can you really date when you are married? Well sure you can.
So why do we need to date our spouse, when we live in a crazy, chaotic life? Let us take a look as to why we need to date our spouse even though we are insanely busy with our daily lives and have children involved.
1. You get time away from the children.
My biological daughter is full-time so she is always here. We get his four children every Tuesday, Thursday, and every other weekend. So our schedules are very busy. Granted, I am used to having my child full time, as he is not. He is used to some free days during the week. For my sanity and his, we try to plan a date night every/every other Monday. So having a date night gives you both the chance to get away from the children and simply breath.
2. You get to build as a team.
You may have issues or concerns that slip your mind during the week that you may want brought up. Although this is nice to discuss, limit the time so you do not stress yourself out on your date. Set the first part to discuss matters, then move on. With this, you get to learn more strengths and weaknesses of each other, and uplift each other. One has a plan or project on their mind? Discuss it and set a game plan for it. This is a nice way to be able to see what is on each others’ minds.
3. You get to reconnect and refocus.
Some like to go on a date on the weekend. Some go during the week. Some go on a few-day-getaway. Whatever the case may be, it is still time to reconnect and refocus. You get to chat, breath, and love each other one-on-one. Tell each other a compliment, discuss what you love about each other, or simply tell jokes. Make you date fun, even if it may be at a fancy restaurant. Once your bellies are full and you are close to being done with your date, focus on your goals for the week. You may have appointments, games, or a change in work schedule. Discuss it and plan!
4. The date shows the priorities in your relationship.
Taking the time in each day is one thing, but setting aside some time for a date can be a tough challenge. Setting aside that time for date is crucial. This is for the above reasons. Setting aside the children, the issues, and the every day stressors from work, friends, and family; we get to focus on US as a whole. Being the second or third wife, we tend to feel less important as the father focuses alot onto the stressors and ex-wife problems. However, your husband should put you first, as he comes home to YOU.
For Codie and I, we are celebrating our one year anniversary, Valentine’s Day, and my birthday all at once. Our one year anniversary was back in November, however we have been unable to get out on a nice date for that. My birthday falls just a few days after Valentine’s Day, so I told him we can just celebrate it all at once (even though that means it will be just one gift, am I right?) With that being said, the dates should be out of your norm, if you are becoming bored with the dates. If you go on a typical date night that consists of a movie and dinner, liven it up by going to a new location or trying a new thing such as bowling, shopping, challenges, etc.
I saw a cute idea on Pinterest where you go to a thrift shop and pick out an outfit for each person. I recommend making it the tackiest outfit you can find. Then you would go to a fancy restaurant in your area. Talk about awkward, but out of your norm! For one, you do not care what your spouse is wearing, all eyes should be on them. Two, you are going outside of the box. And third, you are trying something new to experience together.
In the grand scheme of things, make dating your spouse FUN! Get out every once in a while and enjoy each other. I promise this will liven your relationship more than you know. I hope you all have fun with your dates. If you have any cute date ideas, feel free to follow me on Instagram and share your stories.
Until then, happy dating.