You can doubt she will get the children to their games on time.
You can doubt that she will have the children’s outfits match for school pictures.
You can doubt that she loves her children unconditionally.
And you can doubt that she is the best role model for her children.
But what you never have the right to do is doubt her ability to mother.
Never doubt a woman who gave her ALL to protect her children.
Never doubt a woman who gave up her youth to have a child.
Never doubt a woman who went through hell, to get where she is now.
Never doubt a woman that can do twenty things as once to meet her child’s needs.
Never doubt a woman who would bend-over-backwards for her children.
Just never doubt her capabilities.
Never doubt that she would do everything in her power to make sure no one hurts her child.
Never doubt that she would shun you, if you were toxic to her children.
Mothers have this automatically programmed to where we do not need anyone’s voice to tell us how to parent. It comes second nature, and we do a damn good job.
Let me tell you a little back story, being a single mother.
I busted my ass off on a daily basis to provide for my daughter. I did not work for family, I did not receive child support or government assistance at the time, and I did not look for hand outs. I worked well over 40 to 50 hours weekly, and got maybe an hour with my daughter a day. I would come home late, make her dinner, and have to get her bathed and to bed. I lived in my first apartment alone with her. I paid all of my bills (on time) and I still managed to have a life with my daughter. I normally worked weekends as well, so I managed to find random times to do things with her (for example: the zoo, trips, and just a girls-day). I put all my time, money, and effort into a child, who I had to be mom and dad to. Her father was not in the picture. He refused to see her. He never asked to see her. I did not have a weekend or weeknight free, to myself. I had her 24/7. I checked up on her hourly while I was working. I made sure she was covered and protected. I made sure she was not sick, or sad. I was her crying shoulder and her best friend. I still am. I was simply doing my job: being a mother.
As a mother, we tend to believe criticism when it comes to our parenting skills.
“Oh your child is crying because she never sees me.” Well of course, but you never come see us either.
Having a tight bond with your child is not bad at all. They know who their momma is and they will be there every step of the way.
With that, we do not need outsiders looking in to tell us how to parent. It is natural for us to do certain actions. And of course when someone belittles or attacks our child, momma bear comes out and she is not pretty. Hell if anything, you better run.
For the people that want to doubt us as a mother, just do not. Keep your mouth shut as we parent our child. As we raise an empire and take on this world.
I wanted to include a few affirmations to you mothers, or stepmothers. I think affirmations are perfect because it gives us that boost we need when we let our thoughts get us down. Am I right?
- WE are raising our children the best we can.
- The children look up to US.
- WE get to say “we did it”.
- WE get to see our children grow as how we raised them.
- WE did not take ANYONE’s shit. I mean ANYONE.
Being also a stepmother, I understand the vulgar words and stigmas people put onto us. Please know the reason they do this, is because they want to see you as miserable as they are. Correct? Prove those people wrong, and be the best damn momma you can be! Beyond the neigh-sayers.
I think this band of mothers and stepmothers is incredible. We look upon each other for support, and we become one doing so. We are never a perfect parent (trust me), but we do our best to make sure our child is loved, provided for, and acknowledged. That is a pretty awesome job, if I do say so myself. Hard, but awesome.
Hang in there, momma.