Do you feel like you have failed as a parent? I understand that feeling, and it is okay to feel that. Well, no it is not okay to feel that. Here is why? Being a mother, delivering the little offsprings, our body goes through some messed up changes. We are happy one minute, then crying the next. We have this natural mother instincts that we never thought we would have. We are moms.. Therefore, we do not need to feel bad for being.. Real. We all have our ups and downs, and so, we do not need to feel guilty.
Now do not get me wrong. When I first had my daughter (now three), I suffered from Postpartum Depression. I felt guilty for EVERYTHING. I felt a sense of shame towards it all, and I was not good enough for my daughter. After realizing all of these crazy feelings, I had to snap back into reality. Who gives a shit if I look like I just rolled out of bed, did not freshen my makeup, or have dried up eggs on my shirt from breakfast. Who cares if the children are being butts and a cuss word slips, you need mom time, or you just simply feel like giving up. Do not blame yourself, and do not be shameful.
As mothers we have the tendency to think we do not do enough for our children. Right? We may feel we did not provide enough during Christmas, did not provide enough during a meal, or simply do not make our children happy. Do you feel this way? Do you feel like you do not give motherhood your all?
Let me tell you something, momma. You are doing a damn good job and I am proud of you. To all of the mothers with day-two messy buns, same leggings as yesterday, and energy just from coffee. Kuddos. You are doing your best at being.. Mom. You are being a kick-ass mom, that God intended you to be. Us mothers sacrifice alot for our children, and do I mean alot! We sacrifice our social life, our sanity, and our freedom. For what, a tiny little being that barks out orders? Of course we do!
Why not be proud of who you are? Why not reflect on all that you, as a mother, do for your family? Girl, you earn the title of Mother. You earn every ounce of it.
You may feel like giving up, you may feel like there is no reason for your existence, and you may feel like you do not provide enough for your children. But, you do! You have a purpose. You are a mother. That is your purpose. You are here to raise strong individuals that will carry on your legend. While doing so, you still need to reflect on yourself and challenge yourself. Challenge yourself to be the best you! Here are a few things to do, to be the best you!
1. Find “You Time”:
Ask a friend or family member to watch the children while you take some time for yourself. Whether you get your nails done, grocery shop, or simply relax in the bath tub listening to a podcast; make sure to take some time for you to reflect.
2. Write Your Goals And Ambitions:
Time some time to jot down your fast and future goals. Make sure to set goals that are quick, but also goals that you have to work hard towards. Some fast goals can be a chore list for the day, while a future goal is weight loss, career, or family goals. This is a great time to create a Bucket List as well.
3. Splurge On Yourself:
Girl, go out and buy you something that YOU always wanted. This does not mean to break the bank, but you need to do something for yourself. Some great ideas are new candles, a fancy-dancy perfume, or new clothes.
You need to take some time to reflect on who you are as a being. A few questions to ask yourself is:
- Who am I?
- What is my role on this earth?
- What is stopping me from being the best me?
Take this questions seriously. Find what is stopping you from being the best you, and attack it full force. You need to find the means to get the main root out of your life so that you can be the best for your children.
5. Trust God:
I love the quote, “Let go and let God”. Put all of your struggles aside and give it all to God. He is here to heal all of those holes that you have. Find trust within God to guide you through motherhood. If you struggle with ANYTHING as a mother, seek help in God. He will lead the way.
Please do not ever think that you are not doing your best for your children. You are trying, momma. That is what matters. When the children get older, they will realize that they had one strong mother and you did your best. Take the above steps to heart, and focus on strengthening yourself. In order to have strong children, you need to make sure you are strong.
Hang in there, momma.