Life has a certain way of giving us things when we least expect it. I was a single mother, working over-full time, busting my ass off providing a home and a life for my daughter. I did not have any plans to be in a relationship, and honestly, I do not think that I wanted to be in one at that time. I was focusing on me and my daughter. Life was grand.
Out of the blue and under fore-seen matters, I began talking to my now fiance. We had a good, long conversation about life and what we were doing. Funny story, he was actually best friends with my cousin, and we connected about that way. Anywho, we decided to meet up and go on a bit of a date. I was working until 4:00 pm that day, and he wanted to meet me at my house. Ummm working a full shift, not having my daughter yet, I was a nervous wreck. I got out of work, picked up my daughter, and headed to my home. He had met me out in the driveway and decided to plant a big ole hug. I was in my work gear, while he was dressed casually, however, he had a glow to him (I know, sounds like a Twilight remake). We ended up in my home, and conversated for a few hours. My daughter was care free, as she normally is, and was playing and we made dinner. As he left, it was that awkward do-I-kiss-him-or-hug-him moments. We ended up hugging, and that was that.
The next day, we were conversing some more, and he invited me to his family’s home. When i had met his family, I was scared straight. I did not know what everyone would think of me, and at this day, I do not care. Here is why. I am not there to impress them. I was there to be with a man that I am compatible with. Knowing he had four children of his own, I was surprised he was welcoming of my daughter. He had actually invited us to the Christmas Light Show we have here in town. We met at a local grocery store to walk down to the center of town where the festivities were happening. He had his older three children with him (at the time 10,7, and 3). We walked the streets while the kids met their favorite characters, ate cookies, and listened to Christmas music. The night seemed to go well. The following day, we met at his local park so the kids could play together. Him and I were discussing what we wanted to do as far as a relationship. I explained my dynamics and concerns with the relationship. Looking at the kids playing, and seeing that glow I was talking about on him, I had to pause for a minute. Honestly going from one child to now five, I was hesitant. This means I would be full-heartedly involved with not just him, but his four children. That means he would be involved with my daughter (since her father stepped down). I looked at him another time, and just hollered “Let’s do this”.
Here we are a year in. It has been one hell of a ride already, and it is just the beginning. I was not expecting half of the things that happened. I was not expecting to have to deal with one high-conflict-biological mother. I was not expecting the tantrums his children yelled. I was not expecting the chaos, as you will. I was use to just me and my daughter eating dinner together, playing in her ball pit, and going night-night to her favorite book or show. I am use to coming home after work to quietness. But i was missing something. I was missing the happiness that a relationship brings. yes , I am beyond happy with my baby girl. I just needed an adult to understand me, rather than vent to a toddler. I needed that comfort and affection from another being. This is what I was looking for.
For all of you moms that are looking for your perfect fairy tale story, I hate to break it, but I do not believe there is one. If you fall in love with a man that has it all made, you still have to watch for the extra things that come along with. The kids I knew of, just did not know of the fits. The mothers I knew of, just not the drama. The family I knew of, just not the hypocrisy. You cannot always get what you want. YOU decided to take on this relationship. YOU have to go for it.
We are getting married in June of 2019. I have to say this. Where we are now, I know little-to-nothing can break us. We have been through hell and back, and we are warriors. We have each other’s backs. I never had this type of love before, and it is amazing. I know I love this man, and I know he loves me. Genuinely.
To all of the women out there waiting for the right man to come into their life, give it time. YOU ultimately know when the time is right. Let God lead you the way.
Happy One Year Anniversary, hunny.